Here we were then. We found the sign-in office easily enough, after narrowly avoiding a maniacally driven 125i convertible which nearly rear-ended us. A good start to a day of dedicated driver development!

We were instructed to traverse the main straight’s underpass, acoustic fun in itself, after which we were greeted with the sight of a row of perfectly prepared current model BMW 325i’s quietly warming through.

Random workers buzzed around, all in appropriate ‘BMW Driver Training’ gear, looking effortlessly professional. This feeling of slick organisation was set to continue as we were ushered into the conference room above the main pit area to enjoy a wide-ranging breakfast spread accompanied by ‘available all day ‘refreshments. I must admit to feeling nervous and not wanting much but the fresh fruit kept me on song through the theory sessions. To the instructors’ infinite wisdom, this was all covered in one block at the start of the day, all the better to allow us to focus on the practical applications behind the wheel.

A few glances and nods were swapped amongst students as said instructors entered the lecture room. Geoff Brabham, son of 3 time World Champion Jack, a Le Mans winner in his own right and chief instructor for BMW Australia, was there to not only supervise but to participate in the day! Not bad we thought, given this was the Advanced 1 ‘introductory’ course.

Joining Geoff were Derek and Rhys, and it was Derek that presented the theoretical component to the day. Obviously super comfortable in his role, former Police driver trainer Derek took us through several key components of safe driving on the road. Specifically, he encouraged us to use our vision more completely. It was a mantra often repeated: “Humans are designed to only look for hazards a few metres ahead of themselves, so they would be avoided at running speed. Most drivers only look at what is immediately in front of them, when they should be looking much further ahead.” Think of it this way: If you were looking at the bumper of the car ahead, you wouldn’t see what was beyond it. But if you were looking beyond, you could still see the bumper of that car in your lower sightline.

We went through the effects of braking and how long it actually takes when you factor in your reaction time and that of the car in exerting full brake pressure. At 100km/h the reality is that you should be keeping at least 5 seconds between you and the car in front to enable adequate hazard avoidance time. This caused some debate amongst the students who claimed that if you did that people would continue to cut into your lane ahead of you. Derek’s response provided food for thought: “So what, how much time out of your journey do you actually lose by letting them in?”

Next we looked at grip and how the different forces of braking, accelerating and cornering affect the tyre, particularly in an emergency situation. This extended into footage of oversteer and understeer to reiterate the effects of incorrect steering, throttle and brake inputs, and how to control these issues when faced with them.

Finally we were encouraged to utilise a particular steering method that worked on the 9 to 3 hand positions encouraged by the traditional BMW 3 spoke wheel. Your hands should stay in this position until 90 degrees of lock is required, at which point the bottom hand should disengage and rest just below the wheel. If more steering is needed, the upper arm can continue to sweep the wheel through to 180 degrees while the bottom hand picks up its position at the top of the wheel, in a similar method to ‘hand over hand’. As lock is unwound, the hands return to the 9 to 3 position, all very nice in theory and quite simple in application once you get used to it, the power steering assisting with its light touch.

“OK,” I hear you say, “enough of the theory!”- We were divided into groups of 2 and allocated one 325i’s per team. Once we had found our mount, my co-driver Daniel and I got busy familiarising ourselves with the Beemer and all its gadgets including car-to-car intercoms for communication. “Bloody electric memory seats, DSC, sport-shift auto trans, run flat tyres” I may have uttered; the tech laden features of a modern BMW quite a change from the old world familiarity of my Alfa 105 coupe.

Seating position was paramount, ensuring you had bent arms (wrists should dangle over the top of the steering wheel) while maintaining good visibility , with the pedals situated close enough to your feet to enable comfortable exertion of full pressure.

We trundled out in groups to the skidpan section, which was set up with witch’s hats to form a slalom course designed to familiarise us with both car and steering technique.

Following this, the fun really began, for, in Geoff’s own words: “We now venture out onto the circuit to put theory into practice….and also just because it is simply good fun!”

We were split into groups of 4, each group then following an instructor’s DCT-equipped M3 Sedan onto the vast expanse of Phillip Island’s Gardner straight.

Daniel, my co-driver, was immediately on it, wringing the 325i through the gears in manual mode, straight six emitting a cultured howl to 7000rpm. Each driver had 2 laps at the head of the queue, before moving over to rejoin at the tail of the snake. The first driver was to control the pace, with the instructor (initially Geoff Brabham for us, which was surreal in itself) matching his speed to that car. As we came to the front of the queue, the shrunken images of the other 325’s in the rear mirror suggested that Dan’s speed was superior to the others. Geoff came onto the radio to move us into the faster group headed by Derek. This was fine initially, as Daniel quickly adjusted to the higher speeds. Quickly, though, butterflies entered the cabin when a lap and a half later we pitted for the driver change and I was expected to be right up to speed…

Thankfully, my first laps of Phillip Island (complete with cones directing entry, apex and exit points) were at the rear of my group, for the pace was cracking and I wanted to ease myself into experiencing this new car/circuit combination.

The circuit certainly lived up to all I had heard about it, with long, adversely cambered double apex bends, shiveringly quick curves, steep braking zones and sharp hairpins combining with a very high average speed to form a complete challenge.

By the time I worked to the front of the queue, more detail was becoming apparent- primarily the skill of the instructors, which was humbling to say the least. Real appreciation developed by observing how they could maintain consistent gaps with people behind them, whose speed varied wildly, while at the same time studying student’s lines and making constructive comments at speeds of up 200km/h.

I felt that I was now using my vision more completely, craning my neck to look past the thick A-pillar to the exit of Honda corner and squeezing the throttle earlier and earlier. My largest adjustment came with timing my ‘track-out’; unwinding steering lock quickly enough to get the car pointed for exit as early as possible. This went hand in hand with using the entire track surface rather than instinctively keeping left, and by the end of the session I felt as though I was lapping as well as the others surrounding me.

As for impressions of the 325i, both Daniel and I felt it best to leave the gearbox in performance auto mode, which changed down gears for you under hard braking and clung to them longer on exit. It seemed to respond better than the manual mode, which felt slow-witted; trying to short-shift out of MG, for example, wasn’t working as the lag in making the shift saw it change up as you ran to the apex of the left hander that followed.

Another issue surrounded the run-flat tyres which contributed to quite dull feel through the steering. Geoff was diplomatic about them, while Derek was more succinct, saying that he “much prefers” running traditional rubber.

The morning shifted to more technical development, with half heading over to the skidpan, whilst my group moved onto Gardner straight to run through some braking and avoidance exercises.

Rhys ran this session, demonstrating in the M3 what we’d be expected to do each time. Initially, we did straight-line braking tests both with and without ABS, at 80km/h and 100km/h, noting the change in pedal feel (the trick is to mash the pedal with it on, at which point the pedal ‘pulses’.)

The beauty of ABS is that it still allows the driver to control the car through steering, whilst braking heavily. Come the high speed wet lane change exercises, I have to admit that the ABS required quite an adjustment for me, as my natural reaction to an emergency brake is to feel for the point of lockup and modulate the pedal to maintain some steering. In practice I took out many a cone, tank-slapping my way between the lanes…of course, being first in the group made this doubly embarrassing as I sat laughing nervously with the hazard lights blinking.

After another break we made a beeline for the skidpan, which was a chance for Derek to show off his skills behind the wheel. Well, with a 414bhp M3 and a wet pan, it’d be rude not to! Again it was humbling to observe this- as he tipped broadside between the cones, Derek spoke through our intercoms as if he was having a nice cup of tea and a bikkie (he probably was).

Our first tests involved provoking understeer with the DSG system switched off. This wasn’t so much about recovering traction loss, as about feeling the benefit of the new technology. A brisk run to 50km/h and a wrench of the wheel to the right saw the 325’s nose skid straight on- again, instinct told me to ease throttle and steering to recover grip, which I duly did. “Nice recovery,” said Derek, “but not the objective of the exercise. Do it again!” The second time, I let the nose plough on until I received a “Good!” through the speaker. By the time of the third run DSC was on. Keeping the foot down, the car still understeered initially, but caught up in time to alter the forces and tighten our line without much driver input. An odd feeling- as it removed you from the equation.

Oversteer came next, and while many salivated at the prospect the combined effects of run flat tyres and a slow-witted auto gearbox meant these well balanced Beemers struggled to maintain any slide. We were asked to provoke the rear by simply stomping the throttle upon turning for a slow right. Again, understeer took over, before the ‘box caught up and spun the wheels furiously into oversteer.

Everyone in the group spun like a top, even Ian, a former sprint-car driver. It seemed the issues mentioned above combined with a lack of throttle sensitivity (it is electrically operated) to create this effect, which even Derek appeared confused by. Regardless, with DSC back on the rear was noticeably more controlled but it further removed that layer of involvement that enthusiasts so craved. The good news was that in safety terms for most drivers it really does the job.

Armed with our new appreciation we ventured back on track. As before DSC was compulsory but in dry conditions its presence was hardly noticed. I was now far smoother, turning in later than before, applying throttle sooner, and running to the ripple strips on exit. My rhythm from Siberia through to Lukey heights was developing well, a gentle ease of pressure through the Hayshed allowing for a cleaner apex as the climb began. Geoff came onto the intercom, talking through his lap up ahead with a quote on smoothness that had us all laughing ourselves wide of the next apex- “Compare the experience to, I don’t know, dating Jennifer Hawkins. Always be smooth, caress with your touch…”

Our day concluded with passenger hot laps in the instructor’s M3s. Derek was our chauffer and gave us a first-hand experience of his sideways skills, hitting both apices through the Southern Loop in a haze of smoke before exceeding 240km/h down Gardner straight. If my eyes were not already widened enough, this final experience topped the day off. I now can’t wait to participate in the next lever, Advanced 2- the keys to an M3 for the day beckon.